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Discussion Topic: Rachel's Diary
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jellybabie68 |
04-06-2008 @ 9:16 PM
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Member
Joined: Apr 2007
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What a boring life I lead I was in bed by 10 lol, good luck tomorrow Rach hope your new job is just what you want it to be.
My Weight Chart:
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Macduff |
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04-07-2008 @ 7:04 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Monday - Job Update
Well, it's going to be good! I'm not just saying that, I really think this is going to be a good move for me.
Spent today just pottering around the computer system and making notes. Tomorrow I'm going to visit the warehouse (don't all get excited) so I can get a feel for what happens when the product reaches us.
My new boss has already told me that although long term I will be responsible for quite a lot of things, he won't give them to me in one go (wow, no hitting the ground running!)
I'll report more as it happens
Rachel x
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Macduff |
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04-12-2008 @ 4:55 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Saturday 12th April
I've finally done it - put on more weight in one week than I've lost the whole month - I'm absolutely gutted, disgusted, disappointed with myself.
I know that I've not had the greatest loss all year really, but I think I may just have finally hit the bottom. This week I've put on 5lbs - I hate myself for just writing it down.
I know it's my own fault, I've not been as good as I could have been and to be honest I've been drinking more than usual which is where I think the problem might just be.
I see the nurse on Wednesday and I think it could be time to face reality, whilst I believe the reds are working - I'm just not working with them. It's like the old me is trying to fight back and the new me is letting her win... why though? I'm happier now, I look great and I have more energy - why the hell would I want the old me back, so why am I letting her beat me? I don't think Phil is helping either, it's like he's plotting with Old Rachel to overthrow New Rachel... He wants to help, but just lately it's been really hard for both of us and I feel a bit like the novelty has worn off for him. Oh what do i know, I'm having a lousy week and probably just trying to blame him for it.
This week I've eaten nothing but junk - I don't remember buying all that crap that's in the fridge... so where did it come from?
I'm really struggling and I don't know what to do?!
I'm going to go for a walk tomorrow (rain or shine) because my knee has been aching again and I've had back ache and if this is what 5lbs can do to me then I know I'm in trouble.
Sorry, I just needed to get this out of my head so that I can try to make sense of it all. I try to keep this diary a bit light hearted but this week I'm being a misery.
Hope it's better next week!
Rachel x
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malone |
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04-12-2008 @ 5:22 PM
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Rachel its just the stress of the new job - too much going on, will settle down this week and you will be fine. Just look at your ticker it is truly amazing!!!
That should be inspiration for you!
V
xxx
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siouxanne |
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04-13-2008 @ 2:50 AM
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Hi Rachel
Yeah, I know that feels, we have been to that same self sabotage place this month. What is so wonderful, is that rather than surrender and accept it as inevitable, you are thinking about the reasons why, and what the subtext is that underlies the problem.
Sabotage is a recurring theme I think, until we deal with the real issues of why we are heavy. Weight seems to be an armour or excuse that protects us from issues or attitudes that we would prefer not to deal with. I find myself blaming the people around me when things aren't going great with the weight loss.
It would be so much easier to lose weight, if we knew for sure we could be happy if we were thin, but that is too simplistic. Life happens whatever the weight.
You know you are learning when you are out of your comfort zone. So, however frustrated you are at the world, 'Ms. Pollyanna' would say it is all good, you are learning valuable life skills that are going to help you lose weight and keep it off long term.
Here endeth the sermon!
Errr, I think that I wrote that as much to clarify thoughts for myself as anybody who would sit and read it. Sometimes it needs to be written so that I can understand the ideas that are floating around in my head. My knee jerk reaction?
I JUST WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT - @#$%*! Who wants to get deep and philosophical?
So yeah, not in a bad place because my body is cooperating and weight is coming off this week. I get to ignore my issues again 'till next time I have a battle. Honestly, you'd think by now it would have sunk in my thick skull that success is not tied to a number on a scale!
Well, off to eat and contemplate (or would that be brood sulkily?) for a while.
Hope you are in a cheerier mood soon. Always look forward to hearing from and about you.
Take care
Sue
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cutiepie |
04-13-2008 @ 11:44 AM
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Joined: Apr 2008
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well done that is fantastic,keep it up you must be on cloud nine at the moment with your weight loss, it is such a good feeling when you loose weight be it a few pounds or a few stone it gives you that little boost of confidence that was lacking. I am new to reds only ben on them two weeks now and i feel the difference in my clothes slightly at the moment but the scales haven't changed i am still 16st7lb though my partner did say i was looking slimmer,so bring on the 23rd April for weigh day. Although I have not posted a msg to you before I am very pleased for you keep it up girl x x
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Macduff |
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04-13-2008 @ 4:23 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Sunday afternoon
Thanks for the kind words gals - I'm feeling much better about it all today (are mood swings part of the side effects cos I'm up and down like a tart's knickers)
Well, this morning we got up and went for a walk - he told me it was a nature trail, and it turned out to be a bloody fishing pond - but still a walk.
It only took about 15 minutes to walk all the way around (about half mile in total?) and by the end of it I could feel it in my calves and lower back.. but you know what? It felt good to be out. (Point to New Rachel)
We just held hands and wandered along at our own pace, and every so often Phil kept saying "are you OK?" He wants us to do this more often - he reckons that fresh air will burn calories (who am I to disagree and at least we get some time alone) so it could become our Sunday thing (or not, depending on the weather) either way it was good just to get out and get some fresh air. There is a little cafe on the site and he had a bacon butty but I had plain old toast (2nd Point to New Rachel)
Got back and attacked the wardrobe. I have always had a lot of clothes (work mainly) so now I have a lot of clothes that don't fit. I've just filled my 4th box of clothes that are too big - I even ventured into the underwear drawer and threw out the fat pants. I've got a pair of knickers that must be 10 years old and are full of holes... god alone knows why I've been saving them?!
Krynn suggested that I try them on, jump up and down, and what stayed up I should keep! I was a bit less scientific and threw out all the ones that could double up as tents for boy scouts.
I think it might have given me a bit more focus though, and I'm going to face next week with a bit more vim and a lot more positive attitude!
After this week (and maybe the past few weeks if I'm honest) it would have been easy to give it up and settle back into bad ways - hey I was happy fat, and the weight isn't moving so why fight it - but I really REALLY DON'T WANT TO! and even better? I don't have to... If I want to fight then I can, I'm not beaten.
OK so Old Rachel might have won a couple of short term battles, but New Rachel (me) knows that she can't come back, not really, she had her day and it was fun while it lasted, but like an ex... it's over
New Rachel Rocks, and she rocks all night without having to sit out every other song!
Rachel x
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choc_fish |
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04-13-2008 @ 11:07 PM
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Member
Joined: Feb 2008
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All right Rachel I can solve all your problems with my latest conspiracy theory:
The government knows that
"All health problems are caused by Hormone imbalance"
they just don't want anyone knowing because of the impact it would have on the medical/medicinal industries.
On a serious note have you ever had tests to make sure your adrenals, thyroids and pituitary glands are working properly?
I find that often people know they have a hormone imbalance or the classic "it's in my genes" but they don't actually find out what imbalance they have or what it is that's in their genes!
Speaking of which my "genes" finally fell down in town the other day!
Anyway chin up and hang in there!
Sarah.
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siouxanne |
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04-14-2008 @ 5:14 AM
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Member
Joined: Jan 2008
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Hi Rachel
Between you and Sarah you are going to cause a scandal!
I am nearly ready to scour out the wardrobe. Just need to drop a dress size and I am gonna pounce! I am SICK of seeing those scabby old clothes that were all that fitted. I want to see my good stuff, that I bought during a weight blip that happened a couple of years ago. They got a short outing and now are taunting me in the wardrobe.
I am still fighting to keep my knickers up. (Hehe - how bad that sounds) I refuse to buy more, as they are all still new. I am thinking of getting out the overlocker and making adjustments. In a dim and distant past, I used to be an overlocking machinist, making lingerie. So I could try and dredge up the old skills. Better than baring all in the supermarket.
My jeans are actually looser. Not drop-down loose yet. I hadn't worn them this year so it was noticeable when I put them on. The change is mostly apparent in the saddlebags area. Dare I think that my overripe peachy butt is shrinking too? That would be a miracle. Lets just say I would NEVER need implants there, even at my thinnest.
Well, keep rocking, and keep your panties on!
Sue
P.S. Sarah, I love a good conspiracy theory - I'm in!
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humpty |
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04-14-2008 @ 9:41 AM
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Joined: Oct 2007
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oh my God Rachel.......... have just logged on...not been on in ages.....LOOK at your new pic!!!!!!!!!! you look fantastic....New Rachel looks da bizz...
was just reading throu ur post....ya know what....i think its all a learning curve.......we know how bad we feel when we put a little weight on......the thing is what we do about it... Me thinks you look great!!!!! keep up the good work!!
what about this book????????
sharon N I
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