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Discussion Topic: MoonGoddess's Diary.
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MoonGoddess |
08-11-2008 @ 10:10 PM
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Member
Joined: Jun 2008
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Thank you Rachel - those are kind thoughts.
Now the skinny m8 - I have to give her fair dues. She did it on her own and stuck with it. And she was big and she doesn't get on at me for being fat.
The trend is interesting though, and because I have been on Depot Provera for some years, it'll be interesting to find my cycle again. That I can only work out from water retention and I think it should be next week.
I'm a waffler, that's just me. I suppose because I have felt quite self conscious - see my first post, I have tried to make this a funny diary. But also hope that even the ups and downs can be left for future Reds users who may go through something similar, and if I'm no longer needing the forum by then, they can see what I went through and may not feel alone with their symptoms.
Maybe this feeling sensitive is a pattern too. We can but see.
I don't expect loads of people to post here all the time, as is said it's my diary but I'm just sorta trying to get to know you all and felt I'd upset people. Thank you for the reassurances.
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siouxanne |
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08-12-2008 @ 4:46 AM
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Hi there
Been a while since I butted into your diary. Since I am doing the rounds this week, I thought I'd stop by.
You and me have scales made by the same malicious diet corporation? (I do enjoy a good conspiracy theory) I play a good game of scale hop personally. I wonder if I will be likely to get a more accurate reading when I hit a 2 digit number on the scale? OMG, I will finally be able to see decimal figures, (as in parts of a kg) when that happens. (You need the third column free for the decimals you see)
Was a tad embarrassed when hubby pointed that fact out, when I whined that the scales only did whole kilos and I wanted a new set. I have NEVER told him how much I weigh, I like to preserve the mystique. 
I am feeling a bit down at the moment, I think the winter blues are hitting and grown up stuff like job security for hubby, and me getting a full time job are weighing on my mind. Not nice how the worst aspects of life seem predominant when you are feeling down.
Do you remember when you were a kid, and how when you grew up, you knew you would be able to do whatever you wanted? My daughter was doing that at the supermarket, it made me smile. Apparently, when she grows up, she will be having bubblegum flavoured toothpaste! None of this rubbish that I insist on buying.
I do love kids, just couldn't eat a whole one.
Sue
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Macduff |
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08-12-2008 @ 2:12 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
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well you could Sue, but make sure you count the points!
Rachel x
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**Ainsley** |
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08-12-2008 @ 2:59 PM
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Joined: Aug 2008
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MoonGoddess,
I am new to the forum but can I just say how much I love your diary. I think you are awesome and have been a real inspiration to me. I too am a fellow scales hopper, a habit which I am trying to break. I understand the pure joy you feel inside when you see those numbers going down, the dissapointment when they creep up and the sheer frustration when they won't make up their minds.
Have you thought about using the scales at your local Boots? I do this every Monday, in addition to hopping on my scales at home I must admit. But I take the Boots reading as my actual weekly weight. Oh how I wish I had the strength to throw those pesky scales away.
Ainsley
xxx
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MoonGoddess |
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08-12-2008 @ 3:36 PM
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Joined: Jun 2008
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Ooh Ainsley, I wouldn't have the guts to weigh in a public shop! 80
Anyhow, I went to the docs this morning for next months supply but had to have another doctor.
She is a lovely lady and very caring but was terribly confused with the readings the doctors holds because hers were different too.
The last weight the doc had me down as was 155Kg which is utterly ridiculous at 24st 5lbs. This other doctor weighed me at 163Kg (fully clothed and with shoes on), which is around 25st 9lbs and started panicing because I had put on nearly 10 kilos. I then explained that I weigh 169Kg at home on scales which for better or worse weigh up to 200Kg. The docs scales only weigh up to 150Kg.
She took my blood pressure 6 times because it was slightly raised to her but was less than the doc measured last time and was completely happy with it. On the 6th go my BP had dropped well within the normal range.
I have been told I can now make appointments a week ahead to see my own GP as he knows the situation at home, knows me and has been a qualified doctor for many years more than this lady. I appreciate her thoroughness though.
She eventually handed me a script, smiled and shook my hand whilst congratulating me on the weight loss.
Tired today, but I think it's the weather.
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Macduff |
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08-12-2008 @ 6:16 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
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The only trouble with getting weighed in Boots is that if you do it naked (as some of us do) the security guards tend to try to cover you up and escort you out!
For this reason, I have a lifetime ban from every Boots in England!
You can tell I've thought about this - Other weighing options could be...
Public weighbridge (don't mind the nakedness but if you weigh too much they ban you from being on public roads)
Steel Mills (or any mills in general) - they'll have big scales, but don't encourage the nakedness as there might be sharp/hot things
Loading Bays - lots of burly workmen... I can't see any bad thing about it
I can't think of any more at the moment, but if I do I'll let you know
:eg:
Rachel x
This message was edited by Macduff on 8-12-08 @ 6:16 PM
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MoonGoddess |
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08-12-2008 @ 6:43 PM
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Joined: Jun 2008
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Just had what I can only call some sort of crisis.
I was very late for my lunch and so had 2 kiwi fruit and a tin of sweetcorn which is a great snack at 162 calories.
Anyhow, I suddenly had a panic that I was really hungry and wanted more food. I thought it was just a fleeting thought and went and cleaned out the car for the exhaust fitting and MOT. Still felt hungry and thinking of food and actually panicing that I was thinking about food.
Came upstairs and had a good few gulps of water and I know my tummy feels full but I was having visions of the reds stopping working and then trying the 15mg and either not being able to sleep or after 2 months them no longer working and being stuck at this weight forever.
This was I know a panic attack which I haven't had previously but I wonder why I'm thinking they won't work anymore?
Still have a hollow feeling in the centre of my intestines as I know the tummy is on our left hand sides.
This is the third day I've felt hunger pangs. 
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Macduff |
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08-12-2008 @ 8:12 PM
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Joined: Oct 2007
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I can sympathise with the thoughts of them not working, but you did exactly the right thing... you had some water and realised it was panic not hunger. How easy would it have been to just tuck in and then feel really guilty later.
I think that the whole scales saga is the root of your problem and as soon as you get a proper reading (not +2stone -5lbs) I think you'll probably settle better.
I think you know that they are working for you even though you are one of the unlucky ones who can't actually see it for yourself with the scales right now.
One thing.... are you sure that kiwi and sweetcorn is the right thing for a meal? It's just a strange combination that's the only reason I'm asking - are you eating a proper meal in the evening? There's only one person can live on sweetcorn, and who wants to be the jolly green giant! Maybe you need something a bit more substantial and the "hunger" will be knocked back where it belongs?
Rachel x
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siouxanne |
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08-13-2008 @ 11:46 AM
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Joined: Jan 2008
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Ok, thanks for the images Rachel. I can see me shivering in my altogether with a bunch of burly men playing guess the weight of the fat chick. So long as they cut me in on the stakes, I am ok with it actually. Of course, it could be the beginning of a beautiful dream...
Yep, scale hop should be an official Olympic game. Points for the most times on a scale in one day with inconsistent readings. Points for the largest disparity in scale readings. Points for taking the most accurate reading, and also the correct spot for taking them. (Dependant on variables such as weather conditions and so on.) A skilled sport, which requires some scientific knowledge and experience of the playing fields.
This sport should be played according to ancient Olympic dress code, as in - nude.
Ah, it is a fun life for sure. You gotta have a laugh at the absurdity of it all!
Just been watching the gymnastics, my youngest is a competitive gymnast. Such a wonderful sport, but I really don't know where she got her ability from.
Sue
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MoonGoddess |
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08-13-2008 @ 12:58 PM
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Joined: Jun 2008
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Ooh yes - scales hopping Olympics styleee! LOL
The panic passed. It's the first time I had it.
I don't usually have just sweetcorn and kiwi's for lunch it was that I missed lunch and didn't actually have time to rustle anything up.
I had what can only be described as a huge meal of grilled turkey breast, cous cous and salad last night and felt really full. I also had a couple of apples and a little bit of dried fruit.
I'm not starving myself as I usually have a vegetable soup or something similar or several pieces of fruit for lunch.
I am eating 3 meals a day with the odd occasional pick at dried fruit or fresh fruit if I feel a little hungry.
I weighed this morning - 26st 8lbs - it's getting lower, slowly. And the scales have been more consistant since the weather has been less humid and also I'm not weighing 28st 2lbs anymore so less strain on them!
So for all who think I'm beating myself up - don't worry, I'm not, my only really problem was yesterday's panic attack which was scary.
I don't think this unseasonal weather helps either!
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