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Discussion Topic: Does he still want me?
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jesse |
02-03-2006 @ 8:13 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hello all. I thought i might ask for some help regarding my fiance'. we have been livign together about a year and a half. he was my first ever real "sexual partner". He used to be nearly addicted to porn. I even found out that he was calling those "adult lines" for a while. Which it seems has been cleared up now.. including the pornography. I am smaller and fitter than him. we are both young. I am feeling extra low, as we hardly ever have sex. for someone that needed to look at porn, needed to speak to workers, who whistles and gawks at AND thing ELSE in a skirt. . . why wont he be with me?
it has really go me down... i have tried EVERYTHING> i need your help.. all of you....
please.
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mrsmcci |
02-03-2006 @ 9:30 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi Jesse, Have you tried talking to him about how you feel? There could be an explanation for him not wanting to have sex. Have things changed much lately that he could be tired or stressed because this can have a big impact on your love-life!
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KC1968 |
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02-03-2006 @ 9:41 AM
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Joined: Jun 2004
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you just got to talk to him.
do you find that you are the one that commences any sexual advances? Do you feel that he does have feelings for you and is he good at expressing them to you?
I think the last person that posted that message was definitely right in that you probably are best to talk to him and see his real feelings.
maybe he just wants for the sex to be spruced up? Is the sex a little mechanical?
it will be good in the end i am sure
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wallywagz |
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02-03-2006 @ 8:35 PM
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Joined: Dec 2005
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I believe the problem is with him not you,he sounds like he suffers from low self esteem and needs the porn and dirty chat with his mates to boost him,its all a show,he may feel hes not good enough to satisfy you so makes out to his mates hes a real stud,a gentle chat will sort it out,he needs to open up and be honest with you.
all the best.Jan
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wallywagz |
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02-03-2006 @ 8:41 PM
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Joined: Dec 2005
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I might be talking sh*te but from experience ,thats what I think.
all the best.Jan
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FatGirlSlim81 |
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02-04-2006 @ 9:31 PM
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Joined: Dec 2005
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Men(and a lot of women!) think about sex all the time and a lot use porn just for the sake of it. All men start at women in the street so no need to worry there(I know its hard not to).
Yeah i think u should have a chat with him, he maybe depressed or something.
Good luck
This message was edited by FatGirlSlim81 on 2-4-06 @ 9:31 PM
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jesse |
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02-06-2006 @ 12:56 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
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I dont care if he reads porn. i dont care if he stares at other women. i dont care about any of that..
but when it seems he needs all that soo much coz of what seems to be a "high sex drive" and then i get nothing. Im talkign 3 months.. nothing!
i have tried everything. i have read books to help. i have tried all the things he wants and all the things he says he liked from ex's.. still nothing..
thats why i get annoyed when he perves at everythign else. coz he doesnt give m any attention..
i have talked about it. and he justs gets agressive.
i have initiated sex in SO many ways. IN so many places. i even rented out a hotel suite with the works.. nope/ still nothing. ive tried cooking with wines, seafood, chocolate. there is nothing i havent tried. and i still fail. new bras and knickers. new lacy stuff, augh. the list is endless.
were only young. this isnt meant to happen for another 20 years.  HELP ME IM GOING NUTS> ..
what else can i do! ?
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mrsmcci |
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02-06-2006 @ 9:37 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Bl***y h**L Jesse, it certainly sounds like you have tried every trick possible. I think you need to ask him outright what the problem is. I think now is the time for honesty because if that was me I would be feeling pretty upset by now!
If it was me I would explain how he was making you feel and ask if there is a problem with either of you.
Personally, if he wouldnt talk about it I would have to think about whether the relationship would work as there is only so much rejection you can take! If there is a reason for it then thats a whole new ball game (excuse the pun!)because you can work at that, but if he is going to bury his head in the sand and not discuss it then you will have lay your cards on the table!
The porn etc could just be some kind of sexual release for whatever the problem might be that he has with you.
Good luck 
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realslimlady |
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02-06-2006 @ 4:56 PM
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Joined: Jan 2006
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I agree totally with mrsmcci, you sound like a wonderfull girl who is totally comitted to her partner but this man does seem to have a big problem which is totally destroying your confidence and the relationship.
You need to tell him exactly what he's doing to you and explain that it can't go on, you need to be firm and tell him unless something changes it's over. You shouldn't have to live like this, can you see yourself getting married to him if things stay the same. It's up to you to make your life happy and don't ever settle for second best cos twenty years down the line you will regret it!
Good luck girl and be strong. Lee x
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jesse |
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02-07-2006 @ 12:21 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
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thanks guys, yeh we have talked about it. and he says its because hes not happy with himself... which is a fair call.. but im not happy with myself either but i dont neglect my partner...:'(
there isnt much else i can do.. i have told him we have to fix this or ill move on.. he thinks its a big joke... he doesnt take it seriously. the only time he seems to want sex is convieniently when i have my period. so its no go... *sigh... ill keep trying.. but im falling out of love with him already....
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